{"id":10624,"date":"2019-11-03T10:00:39","date_gmt":"2019-11-03T08:00:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/solkes.com\/?p=10624"},"modified":"2020-11-12T07:43:56","modified_gmt":"2020-11-12T05:43:56","slug":"scared-of-the-dark","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/solkes.com\/en\/anonym\/2019\/11\/scared-of-the-dark\/","title":{"rendered":"Scared of the Dark"},"content":{"rendered":"

I<\/span> was afraid I would see nothing at all. That I would get there, and not be astonished by what I found. Cause anything and everything I would find\u2026 it would be new. That much I knew.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Nessa Twix \u00a9 Solkes<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I was afraid I would see nothing at all. Afraid that when I opened my eyes, that when I saw myself surrounded by light, darkness would still be lingering. I was afraid.<\/p>\n

I was afraid so very afraid. How could this happen? Why should it happen to me? Why should it happen to anyone?<\/p>\n

I had waited for this moment for such a long time. I had prepared myself as much as I could.<\/p>\n

But now, here, confronted with this new path I believed it could be a fraud. That it wouldn\u2019t mean anything new. That I wouldn’t see the change! That I wouldn’t be affected by it.<\/p>\n

The darkness, the lack of light, didn\u2019t scare me completely\u2026 but the feeling that creeps in when the void is surrounding every corner of your been \u2026 that was a feeling I couldn’t shake off.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Nessa Twix \u00a9 Solkes<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

So often, we make the mistake of believing in something or someone and building it up. But that it is normal, I guess, it’s human nature after all. I once read, that is innate for people to search companionship, a connection of some sort.<\/p>\n

I am not entirely sure I wanted this conviction anymore. I was afraid of the end result.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Nessa Twix \u00a9 Solkes<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I have seen a lot and at the same time nothing at all. I know that people judge, they are mercy less, sometimes they forget they are human, they show no compassion.<\/p>\n

They are evil. There are some, how ever, that are light, beauty, caring. Angels, of some sort.<\/p>\n

But, all in all, people judge. They do so without thinking that there are many sides to a to story. Nothing is that simple.<\/p>\n

They think there is black and white and they forget that most of us live in the greys. It is by far a larger spectrum, broader and more accepting.<\/p>\n

In the grey, there is some light and laughter, it can also capture sorrow, pain, and the fragility of life.<\/p>\n

I can only remember, maybe that is something I only want to remember, that shattered mirror through which we occasionally catch glimpses of our world.<\/p>\n

I was afraid of the darkness in all of its forms: grief, death, anxiety, rage, despair, loneliness, jealousy, doubt, heartbreak, and betrayal.<\/p>\n

I was afraid, so very afraid. How could this happen? Why should it happen to me? Why should it happen to anyone?<\/p>\n

Tha candels I light up, the candels I placed around me to have some light. Those candels where not going to last for ever. That much was clear.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Nessa Twix \u00a9 Solkes<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I had no doubt about that. But during a short period of time, enough, they provided light. A grey that shined, that iluminated everything.<\/p>\n

I<\/span> sat alone, waiting a for time to pass me by, a bit more. Just enough, so that I could catch my breath, and open my eyes, into a dark room, into a void, hoping to see and experience something new.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was afraid I would see nothing at all. That I would get there, and not be astonished by what I found. Cause anything and everything I would find\u2026 it would be new. That much I knew. I was afraid I would see nothing at all. Afraid that when I opened my eyes, that when […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":10638,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[635,698,1109,1108],"class_list":["post-10624","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anonym","tag-anonym-en","tag-creative-writing-en","tag-dark","tag-fear-scared"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nScared of the Dark - Solkes Magazine<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/solkes.com\/en\/anonym\/2019\/11\/scared-of-the-dark\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Scared of the Dark - Solkes Magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I was afraid I would see nothing at all. 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