Change

By: Ilona S
Photos: Nessa Twix

I grew up moving homes with my family every couple of years. I must say that it was very enriching but at the same time it was extremely difficult. It simply meant starting a new life every time. I had the feeling that I could never settle into my life, my surroundings. So yes, change was definitely a part of my life and it was not easy.

But, like it or not, we are a culture that is constantly changing. As I have learned through my experience and the experience of the people around me, change is one of the words that scares people the most.


Photo: Nessa Twix
© all rights reserved.

It is a transformation, an alteration. But, even if people don't like it, change happens all around us and all the time.

Most people enjoy stability. The enjoyment of security is often destroyed by change. Therefore, change may generate several emotions, including sadness, fear and anger.

From a young age we are introduced to change. Some people encounter change more often than others, and at a certain point in our lives we make our own perceptions on the subject.

One of the greatest barriers to our own change efforts is that we fail to plan for setbacks. We plan to make changes, but we rarely plan for problems along the way. And, then we see ourselves trying to make adjustments. This may disrupt things even more.

In many opportunities change is something that is planned. But, more often than not, change happens just like that.


Photo: Nessa Twix
© all rights reserved.
Most of the time, change is sudden, it’s quick and it disrupts our balance of things. It comes in liek a wave and gives you the opportinuty to see and do things in a differnt manner. But, accepting this is no easy task.

There are all sorts of changes: loss of a job, loss of a loved one, a new relationship, a travel, amongst others.

All of the new moments generate a “disturbance” in our very day life. The fact is that when predictability disappears so does our sense of safety. Due to this our survival instincts kick in.

In this way, change can trigger our most basic survival instincts, and even when physical survival is not an issue, it can feel as if it is whenever things change.

It is also important to mourn and move on when unwanted change hits, and in that order. Almost every unwanted change brings with it a sense of loss and a wistful desire to return to the way things were.


Photo: Nessa Twix
© all rights reserved.

The truth of the matter is that people change everyday. Change is inevitable. You can’t stop it. When you know you can’t stop something from happening, you stop yourself from accepting it.

I learned that change means letting go of almost everything. We might be leaving behind friends, plans or habits. In some cases we may feel like we are losing something. This is why we need time to reflect, heal and connect. I also learned that change means a popurrí of emotions. Sometimes all at once and sometimes drop by drop. It is important to acknowledge our feelings in order to cope with the process. The best thing we can do is embrace all of these emotions when we feel them.

 


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